The NOT NEARLY DEAD Club

The NOT NEARLY DEAD Club is exclusively for the 600 million senior citizens of the world who are at least 65 or over. The N.N.D.C. is nothin’ like those stuffy, expensive country clubs. It’s not like those A.A.R.K. or B.B.B. associations either. You don’t have to endure ANY snobbish fraternity or sorority pledge-ships and you will never be black balled. There is NO discrimination of any kind. NO forms to fill out. NO initiation fees and NO monthly dues. We're given' you •F•R•E•E• MEMBERSHIP at — www.thenotnearlydeadclub.com You can go there right now and print yourself one or a hundred certificates. I don't care. Or you can you can buy one of our fancy printed memberships right here right now in our store. You can also buy a hat, shirt, mug or some other essential goods at the store. But ya' don't gotta' buy nothin if ya' don't want to. My arteest cousin, Rembrandt McGurk, designed our beautious Membership Certificate for FREE so I’m passin’ the savin’s on to you. You‘ll be proud to show this masterpiece off in your home, your office... hell... even in your outhouse. Your membership is valid for all of eternity and it’s absolutely, positively FREE! Remember friend, eternity is a long time and ya can’t beat FREE! Personalize your certificate with your name, the name of a relative or an old (really old) friend. What a great FREE birthday or retirement gift. And as an added bonus I‘ve even stamped it with my ”Bonesafide” seal—and that makes it official! Becoming a member is fast and easy. You have nothin’ to lose and everything to lose so why not join NOW! And I promise I'll NEVER call ya, bug ya or send ya endless emails. Let's have a little fun! TAKE A TRIP IN YOUR CHAIR RIGHT NOW TO: thenotnealydeadclub.com Your friend in fun, Bones McGurk Founder and President